As acceptance letters, financial aid packages, and other communications from target schools are received by your high school senior, it’s natural to feel pressure to move forward quickly to decide, as a family, on next steps.
After a long and possibly stressful college search and application process, the desire to wrap it up swiftly can be strong — but doing just the opposite can be a much better approach for all involved.
Here are ten tips to help you and your child resist the rush – and instead, create much-needed space for thoughtful and well-informed decision making:
1. Create space to process.
Whether acceptances, rejections, or waitlist notifications arrive, give your child and yourself space to process the outcomes and the accompanying emotions.
2. Share with care.
As understandable as it may be to want to share your child’s news with others, be sure to get on the same page as a family about how much you are going to share, with whom, by whom, and when.
Friends and extended family may be eagerly awaiting news of college admission decisions, but sharing updates in a piecemeal fashion before all decisions and aid packages are received, and before next steps are formally decided upon, may lead to countless opinions being offered and unnecessary pressure at an already stressful time.
Plus, there are aspects to the college admissions process (such as financial details) that you simply may want to keep private.
3. Seek and gather additional information.
In some cases, offers of admission precede financial aid packages and thus, you may have no idea how much the actual cost will be to attend a particular institution. Reach out to school personnel to find out when that information will be provided.
4. Understand financial aid packages.
Recognize that not all aid is the same. Grants and scholarships are a form of aid that do not need to be repaid. Loans create a future financial obligation and must be repaid by the student or parent borrower. The total amount of financial aid offered for year one may differ from commitments for future years, and scholarships may be contingent upon maintaining a particular grade point average or other standing.
Take time to carefully review financial aid details for each school your child is considering and ask any questions you may have.
5. Use admitted students’ days wisely.
Admitted student days provide an opportunity to return to target schools with a fresh set of eyes. Be sure to compile a comprehensive list of topics you and your child wish to cover, people you want to meet, questions you want to pose, and areas of campus to be sure to see. In addition to taking careful notes, take photos and videos that you can reflect on after the visit.
And if there’s an opportunity for your child to stay overnight, consider that. These visits can help your child consider whether they can truly see themselves fitting into a particular school community.
6. Compare school options side by side.
Creating a simple comparison of these and/or other factors can bring clarity to the final decision-making process:
- Net cost (what your family will actually have to pay)
- The need to borrow and repay
- Academic programs of greatest interest
- Housing options
- Extracurricular options
- Location/distance from home
- Internship and career placement success
- Extra expenses (travel, additional costs for special programs, etc.)
- Support services
- Overall comfort level
7. Focus on fit, not just prestige.
The “best” school is the one where your child can learn, grow, and thrive. It’s not always the one with the most well-known name or ranking. Academic, social, and financial fit all matter.
8. Talk openly about finances.
If you haven’t already, have an honest conversation about just how much you have saved and the amount you can afford to spend after grants, scholarships, and other forms of aid are applied. Be sure to discuss what level of borrowing, if any, feels appropriate and exactly how much would need to be repaid after graduation – and by whom. You can calculate estimated payments based on how much needs to be borrowed and explain what monthly payments will be for ten or more years following graduation.
Together with your child, consider what tradeoffs may be needed to attend one school versus another.
9. Realize there’s more than one path forward.
It’s important to keep an open mind. If a preferred school does not work out for financial or other reasons, remember, there are always other options. Living at home for the first year or two while attending college or starting at a less expensive institution may be an appropriate starting point.
Alternative paths sometimes turn out better than the original plan. And as we know, there is no one route to a rewarding future.
10. Trust it will all work out.
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