If you ask your student what they think about networking, you will usually hear some version of the same answer.
It feels forced, awkward, and a little transactional. Something you do when you need something, not something you build over time.
That framing is problematic.
Because what hiring managers understand, and students often don’t, is that most opportunities are shaped by relationships long before an application is ever submitted. Not always through close connections, and not always in obvious ways, but through conversations, introductions, and small moments of follow-through.
You’ve probably heard some version of the claim that most jobs come through networking. The exact percentage gets exaggerated, but the underlying reality is hard to ignore. Many opportunities are never truly “open” in the way students assume. They are surfaced, shaped, or accelerated through referrals and conversations, often through people your student knows only casually. In other words, it’s not just who you know well that matters. It’s who you’re willing to connect with and stay connected to over time.
Start by reframing the goal
Help your student replace the idea of “networking” with something more accurate and more useful.
They are not trying to impress people. Rather, they are learning how to understand people.
That shift changes how they show up in conversations. Instead of worrying about saying the perfect thing, they can focus on asking better questions and listening carefully.
You can model this by asking them questions like:
“What did you learn about how that person thinks?”
“What surprised you about their path?”
Those questions train awareness, not performance.
Focus them inward before outward
Most students assume networking starts with reaching out to strangers. In reality, the most effective place to begin is much closer.
Your student is already surrounded by people who are invested in their success. Professors, advisors, career center staff, and alumni all have insight and access that students rarely tap into fully.
Coaching point: Challenge your student to engage one person on campus each week.
That might look like attending office hours with one thoughtful question, following up after a guest speaker, or asking an advisor how employers actually evaluate candidates.
These are low-risk, high-return interactions. They build confidence while creating real relationships.
Teach them the discipline of follow-through
Most students can have a decent conversation. Far fewer know what to do after.
This is where you can be very practical.
Encourage your student to build a simple habit. After any meaningful interaction, they should follow up within 24 to 48 hours. A short message thanking the person, mentioning one specific takeaway, and expressing interest in staying in touch is enough.
Then, a few weeks later, they should send a brief update. Something they tried, something they learned, or a question that builds on the previous conversation.
Coaching point: consistency matters more than perfection here. A short, thoughtful follow-up is far more effective than a long, polished message that never gets sent.
Help them go deeper, not broader
Students often try to maximize the number of connections they make. What actually differentiates them is depth.
A student who builds a handful of genuine relationships, where there is ongoing conversation and mutual recognition, is in a much stronger position than one who collects dozens of shallow contacts.
You can guide this by asking:
“Who are two or three people you should stay in touch with this semester?”
“What would it look like to keep that relationship going?”
This keeps the focus on quality and intentionality.
Encourage small contributions
At some point, networking needs to shift from asking to contributing.
That does not require expertise. It can be as simple as sharing an article related to a past conversation, making a thoughtful introduction, or following up with an insight that shows they were paying attention.
These small actions signal maturity. They show that your student is not just taking, but engaging.
Final thought
Your student does not need a perfectly built network before they graduate. They need a pattern of behavior that compounds over time.
If you want to give them a simple starting point, keep it this clear:
“Be curious in conversations. Follow up when most people don’t. Stay connected longer than feels necessary.”
That is how opportunities start to find them, often before they ever go looking.
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