Starting college can feel like starting a new job. Except instead of one boss, students suddenly have several, each with different expectations, communication styles, and standards for success.
Some hand out syllabi that read like employee manuals. Others give little direction and expect students to figure things out on their own. For new college students, this mix can be exciting, confusing, and sometimes overwhelming.
The reality is that professors are your students’ first supervisors in the workplace of college. They evaluate performance, observe habits, and decide when to extend grace or enforce the rules. Learning to build strong relationships with them early on isn’t just helpful for college; it’s preparation for life after it.
In my work coaching students through the Flourishing Framework™, I’ve found that the students who thrive most quickly are those who can enhance their own sense of “fit” at their college when they see professors not only as gatekeepers, but also as guides. Coaching your students to view office hours not as a sign of struggle, but as a free opportunity for connection. Encourage them to take the initiative to do something simple but powerful: show up.
Step one: show up early and show curiosity
The best time to meet a professor is within the first two weeks of class. Visit office hours before there’s a problem or a grade to discuss. Think of it as a friendly conversation rather than a source of intimidation. Ask three simple questions:
- “What made you decide to become a professor?”
- “What do you love most about teaching this subject?”
- “What advice do you have for students who want to do well in your class?”
These questions may sound basic, but they open the door to connection. They invite your professor to share their story and their expertise. More importantly, they show that your student is interested in learning from them as a person, not just as someone who assigns grades.
Step two: see the human behind the title
Professors usually appear confident and composed at the front of the room, but they’re people first. They face deadlines, family pressures, and daily stress just like anyone else. Many also have the same needs as students: the need to feel competent, respected, and understood.
When students recognize this, it often changes how they see and communicate with their professor. They tend to show up on time and pay more attention. They write clearer, timelier, and more respectful emails. They express gratitude when professors take time to help. They ask questions instead of making excuses. Over time, those small gestures build trust, and that trust often leads to stronger support and deeper learning.
Step three: think long-term
Some professors will guide your student for a single semester, and that will be enough. Others may become lifelong mentors. I’ve seen countless students find internships, research opportunities, and graduate school recommendations because they took the time to connect early on.
When a professor sees genuine effort and curiosity, something shifts. The relationship moves from transactional to something that could become transformational. Professors start to invest not just in helping a student pass, but in helping them grow.
Final thought:
College isn’t only an academic experience; it’s the first professional environment your student will navigate. Each classroom offers a new supervisor, a new workplace culture, and a new chance to practice relational intelligence. The sooner students learn to build trust, curiosity, and respect, the better prepared they’ll be for every job that comes after graduation.
Encourage your student to remember this simple formula: show up early, ask good questions, and see the person behind the podium. The grade may matter for a semester, but the relationship could shape a lifetime.
As always, remember, you’ve got this, Coach!
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