As the end of senior year rapidly approaches, parents may find themselves nearly exhausted from parenting a college-bound student.
From campus tours and application season to financial aid forms and the long wait for admissions decisions, to the painstaking task of deciding which school to attend and how to finance it, these last nine to twelve months may have felt like one of the most intense phases of parenthood ever. And undoubtedly, the effort and dedication needed to reach this important milestone began many years prior to this. The savings process alone likely involved years of dedication.
While it’s natural to have gone all in with devoting time and energy to helping a child prepare for college or other forms of career training, many parents unintentionally place their well-being, relationships, interests, and dreams on hold.
As graduation nears and children formally prepare to take their next steps, parents should pause to replenish their energy and start thinking about their futures, too.
Here are a few ways for parents to begin:
1. Reestablish Time for Yourself
Start small. Carve out a bit of time for rest, movement, or activities that bring you joy. Reclaiming even fifteen minutes a day of time solely for yourself can help restore your energy.
2. Reflect on What’s Next—for You
As your teen plans to take their next step, take time to imagine your next chapter too. What would you like to explore, learn, or prioritize in this next stage of your life? Whether that involves revisiting a career goal, pursuing some form of adult education, traveling, volunteering, or simply having more dedicated time with a partner or friends, identify one small step you can take immediately toward something that interests and excites you.
3. Process Your Emotions
Transitions can stir up all sorts of emotions from sadness to pride to anxiety and relief
—and everything in between. Journaling, meditating, and/or talking with a friend or counselor can help you identify and navigate these emotions in healthy ways.
4. Celebrate the Dual Milestones
While you acknowledge how far your child has come, take a moment to reflect on just how far you have come as well. You’ve managed to raise a child to near adulthood, and you’ve likely learned a tremendous amount and grown in countless ways through the process. Make time to honor your own accomplishments while you celebrate all your child has achieved with your support.
5. Reconnect with Community
During the busy years of parenting, it’s common to lose touch not only with yourself but with social circles you once enjoyed as well. Reach out to old friends, join a group to meet new ones, and/or make a specific plan to stay in touch with some of your current parent group friends who are going through similar transitions. It’s easy to feel isolated during times of change. Leveraging the company and support of others can go a long way.
6. Be the Example
Beginning to place a greater focus on yourself may feel a bit selfish, but can benefit your child in a number of priceless ways. Most immediately, your child may feel quite relieved to have the spotlight adjusted off of them as they prepare to spread their wings. And when they see you starting to put a greater emphasis on your own well-being and the impact that has, it will help teach them about the many benefits of self-care. And lastly, your inward focus may even put their minds at ease, knowing you’ll be taking care of yourself and doing things you enjoy once they’ve left for college.
Conclusion:
In this season of change, giving yourself permission to pause and exhale is one of the most valuable things you can do. You’ve shown up in so many ways for your child all of these years. Now is the time to begin showing up for yourself as well. Your adjustment in focus is not a step back from your parental role and responsibilities, but instead, a well-deserved step forward into a renewed version of yourself. You’ve earned it!
4468570
