For parents of high school seniors whose next steps are not yet clear, January can arrive with a mix of hopefulness and concern.
The start of the new year is a fitting time to consider some resolutions that can serve you well in the months ahead.
Resolve to:
1. Discuss college costs and ability to pay early, not after acceptance letters arrive.
It’s tempting to wait until the admissions process plays out before having serious conversations about how prepared your family is or isn’t for college expenses. If you wait until decisions and/or financial aid awards are received, emotion (not reason) is already in the driver’s seat. Catching your child off guard with how much you can contribute and/or are comfortable borrowing may not go well. Talking about affordability and possible options for college financing earlier — versus later — helps families evaluate acceptance decisions with clarity.
2. Refrain from tying acceptances (or rejections) to worth.
College decisions aren’t a verdict on your child’s character, intelligence, or potential. Admissions outcomes are shaped by a wide range of factors that you and your child may never know. Attaching value to a single decision can impact confidence and make the road ahead more challenging. Resolve to remind yourself — and your child — that no one decision defines who they are or what they are capable of becoming. There are many routes to a rewarding life, and alternative paths may turn out much more favorably than what was originally hoped for.
3. Stay focused on your own child – not others.
It has been said that comparison is the thief of joy. Analyzing the test scores, school acceptances, and/or scholarships that you’ve learned your child’s peers have received is not a useful step at this juncture. Skip the comparisons and remind your child — and yourself — that their future is filled with endless possibilities and is theirs to write.
4. Stay open to changes in direction and alternative paths.
For some students and families, the senior year application process reinforces that a four-year college immediately following high school is a good fit. For others, it may become increasingly clear that a gap year, attending community college, pursuing a trade school education, or entering the workforce or military first may make more sense for a variety of reasons. Remember that even well-thought-out plans can evolve, and flexibility is not a weakness — it’s a strength. Your ability to support your child’s possible pivot without panic is one of the greatest gifts you can give during this time of transition.
5. Thoughtfully use the savings you’ve built and protect your own financial future while supporting your child’s.
Using college savings thoughtfully means taking a step back, understanding the full financial picture, considering all options thoroughly, and aligning college spending with other long-term goals — rather than blindly reacting to expectations set by others. Remind yourself that as parents, we are often inclined to sacrifice everything “for the kids,” even if it means sacrificing our own financial stability. Supporting your child does not need to involve taking on the stress of unmanageable debt or jeopardizing your future retirement.
6. Model calm, rational decision-making.
Your child is likely watching how you navigate this period of uncertainty. The tone you set can become their compass. Even when answers aren’t clear, modeling steadiness, expressing curiosity, and keeping an open, rational mind can help reassure your child that there is more than one valid path forward.
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