Sending your child off to college is an exciting milestone—but it can provoke plenty of questions and concerns.
Let’s break down three common concerns we hear from parents and identify what you can do to address them.
1. How can I ensure my child applies to schools that are right for them?
Let’s face it – there are no guarantees about the direction your child will want to go or about finding a perfect fit. The “right” school isn’t about just one characteristic or ranking — and there aren’t just one or two “right” schools for any particular student. In addition to finding a good financial fit for your family, it’s about finding options that match your child’s personality, strengths, social and geographic preferences, academic and career goals, and types of support they may need to thrive.
What You Can Do in Advance:
- Check out this instrumental piece by College Countdown contributor David Q. Hao, MA, JD in which he explores steps that can be taken to help you and your child begin the search with a sense of who they are and the types of communities that may best fit them both academically and personally.
- Help your child visit campuses, talk to current students, and sit in on classes in subject areas that are of potential interest.
- Encourage your child to take “real-time” notes on their observations from campus visits and utilize them to compare options and make an informed decision about which schools to consider and which to attend.
- Have them leverage their high school guidance and/or college counselors for support in the search and application process.
2. Will we be able to afford the school my child wants to attend?
Whether you’ll be able to afford the schools your child wants to attend will depend on a variety of external factors, your family’s level of preparedness, and other circumstances. No matter what your situation is, it is prudent to take a careful look at the net costs of desired schools to make certain unmanageable amounts of debt are not being taken on to fulfill a dream that can be pursued in a less costly fashion elsewhere.
What You Can Do in Advance:
- As early in the process as possible, do a complete accounting of the value of your savings/investments, anything your child may have saved from part-time work or other means, and any accounts other family members may have created on your child’s behalf. Also consider how much, if anything, you can afford to contribute from your or your partner’s income while your child is pursuing their degree.
- Fill out the FAFSA early, research grants, scholarships, and work-study opportunities, and see if your employer offers any form of assistance that may benefit your child.
- When financial aid award letters are received, make certain you examine what is being offered for each year of the course of study and what the annual financial gap is that you and your child will need to fill. Compare awards carefully. Contact schools if you feel there are financial factors that may need to be reconsidered.
- With a complete understanding of the financial picture for each school under consideration, have an honest conversation about each option with your child, and others involved in the final decision making. If affordability is a concern, discuss the reality of taking on future debt (including the total amounts that will need to be repaid and by whom), and alternative options. Consider quality schools that have lower net costs which may offer just as strong an education with less financial stress in the long run.
- Managing money while away from home for the first time can come with a steep learning curve for many students who may not have received formal education about managing finances while in high school. With your family’s circumstances in mind, set clear expectations about how much, if any, money you’ll be able to provide monthly or per semester for your child’s out-of-pocket expenses and discuss in advance what approved purchases may be.
3. Will they be okay away from home at the school they select?
Living independently for the first time can be a big adjustment. While you can’t predict exactly what your child’s journey will be like, there’s plenty you can do to lay the groundwork for a positive experience.
What You Can Do in Advance:
- Help ensure they have developed skills they need before they leave such as time and project management, study skills, laundry, cooking, budgeting, and self-care essentials.
- Make certain they are well aware of campus resources available to them for support — and encourage them to reach out at times when they struggle.
- Encourage them to attend orientation, join clubs or intramural sports, to get to know other students while reminding them it may take time for relationships to develop.
- Remind your child that every student’s journey is unique and discourage comparisons with peers attending the same or different institutions.
- Make a plan to stay in regular contact with your child, but give them space to figure things out.
- Register for any updates the school is willing to issue to parents in the event of a weather, safety, or other emergency.
- Prepare and execute necessary documents like a health care proxy and durable power of attorney for emergencies. This article outlines the details of what you need to know.
Your child is stepping into a new chapter of life, and while it’s normal as a parent to worry and to ask clarifying questions, remember that it is more than likely that everything will work out.
4286569
